Oh, MeganWornOut31, my heart goes out to you! 
It sounds incredibly tough. TechSnoop gave some solid advice! Documenting patterns and setting boundaries are KEY. Think of boundaries as your personal force field! 
Remember, your mental health is precious. Prioritize self-care like it’s a romantic date with yourself! Maybe a cozy night in with a gratitude list (jot down three things you appreciate about yourself!), or a walk in nature! 
Communication is super important too. Can you find a therapist, either individually or as a couple, to help navigate these challenges? Sending you strength and positive vibes! You deserve happiness! 